Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
It's a perfect picture of my thougts lately. This week, I've really been trying to push myself. I have a 5k coming up in just a few weeks, which is a BIG motivator. And to be honest, I got tired of making excuses for why I don't have time to work out hard. I need to push myself more than ever. With my stress levels at an all time high, I need to get rid of a lot of stress or one day, I'm going to snap.
Sunday I put in my best run ever - running more than walking for the first time - and yesterday I did a boot camp class at work. I want to get in two more runs this week, tomorrow and Saturday. Hopefully boot camp will become a regular feature at our gym, because I LOVED it, but if not, I'm going to put together my own at-home version of it. I've tried our Zumba classes at our gym, and while they're fun, I'm not a dancer - I have no rhythm at all. Boot camp doesn't require coordination or rhythm. I can't shimmy or cha-cha, but I can do jumping jacks and kickboxing.
Fitness and healthy eating are going to have to be priorities for me. Its worth the time because it will give me an edge. If I'm fit and healthy, I'm less likely to get sick, and I'm more likely to have the energy I need to get through my crazy days. I can't take care of everything and everyone I need to take care of if I don't take care of myself, too.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Friday I was totally out of motivation, but something happened overnight, because I found it yesterday. I was on a roll! I love days like that.
I worked until 1:00 yesterday. It was a busy day with lots of workouts and two Zumba classes. I was chatting with members, checking people in for classes, and selling merchandise like crazy. We just received new breast cancer awareness t-shirts, and they are a HUGE hit!
After work I headed home to my guys. I had planned for us to eat leftovers, but my latest experimental slow cooker recipe didn't turn out too well, so we picked up lunch instead. After lunch I headed to the church with Robby and boys. While Robby worked and the boys rode bikes and watched movies, I worked on school assignments - a journal entry, a medical terminology quiz, an article we have to do a group project on, and a study guide for a big test on Tuesday. I got so much done.
I headed home around 6:00. I cut Robby's hair, then loaded the kids up for our weekly grocery shopping trip. I was the master of multi-tasking, walking through the store shopping and selling Crest white strips via phone for school. (Great deal on professional strength white strips - I can ship them, in case anyone is interested.)
At home again, I unloaded groceries, cooked dinner, studied, make a Jello salad and started cheesy chicken in the slow cooker for today's church dinner, and finally collapsed into bed. Whew! What a day, but I got so much accomplished. Today will be more relaxed. I'm going to try to get to the gym, too - I desperately need to run off some stress! I can't imagine why....
Friday, September 16, 2011
I don’t want to do anything right now. Nothing. Not housework. Not studying. Not exercise. Nothing. Except maybe crashing on the couch and mindlessly watching TV. I have zero motivation. Even my eating habits have slipped this week, and the scale shows it.
This has been a very long and tiring week, and it still isn't over. I think that's probably the reason behind my strong urge to do nothing. I'm exhausted, stressed, and hormonal - not a good combination. I'm also feeling pretty overwhelmed. When I feel overloaded I sometimes want to procrastinate, not knowing where to start.
Thankfully my Good Morning Girls group begins Monday. I'm looking forward to their support and encouragement, and our Bible study on 1 John. My 5k is just weeks away, so I'm going to make myself get back on track with my training. I'm going to keep tackling college one day, one class, one assignment at a time. I'll get there, slow and steady. I'll find my motivation day by day as I dig in and keep going.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
It hurt so much it might as well have been a knife in my heart. My husband immediately looked over at me. He knew it hit me hard. He assured me that Spencer didn't really mean anything by it. I grabbed for a tissue in my purse, hiding my tears from my kids. Even now, a few days later, it still makes my heart ache to think about it.
I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that I'm doing exactly what God wants me to be doing right now. That doesn't make this road an easy one, though. I miss my kids when I'm away from home all day. When I want to just go home after classes, I have to go to work, because we still have to pay our bills, including my tuition. When I get home, exhausted beyond words, and want to just relax and have fun with my family, I have to study and do homework and cook dinner and wash clothes. On the weekends, I struggle to play catch up, getting groceries and doing housework, and studying - always studying.
This weekend, I tried to remind the kids of why I'm going back to school. I was off work, so I took them to a friend's birthday party. They went grocery shopping with me. They watched cartoons and skateboarded and played in the backyard while I did housework. We had dinner together as a family. They told me how much they loved our weekend. I reminded them that one reason I decided to go back to school is time with them. When I graduate and start my new career, I'll be home by 6:00 every night (instead of 8:00) and I'll never have to work weekends. I'll have lots more time off, more flexibility, and more money. I reminded them that it will be worth it. Hearing the joy in Spencer's voice when he realized that this isn't forever started to heal the ache in my heart.
I have to remind myself of that a lot. I have to sacrifice now to make things better in the long run. The sacrifices are hard, and they hurt. All I can do is cling even tighter to God and trust in His strength to see me through. It will be worth it all in the end.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Simplify. Just saying the word makes me feel more relaxed. I see myself with less to do, less to worry about, and more time to relax. I see myself sipping raspberry lemonade on a private beach...okay, that's just wishful thinking, but you get the point.
But what happens when you're at a place in your life where you can't simplify? What happens when you have too many irons in the fire, but you can't take anything out or it will all fall apart? That's where I am now.
Work is going well - extremely well, in fact. We've worked hard to get it there, and we're going to have to work harder to keep it moving in the right direction.
School is great. It's amazing. I love it, and I know that dental hygiene is the career I was made for. It's a perfect fit for me. It's also extremely demanding: five classes, required community service hours, numerous online assignments, a group project, rotations in senior clinic, choosing a topic for my freshman research project, two case studies, a patients education simulation, and finding my own patients to meet radiology requirements...and that's just this semester!
A lot of the girls in the program have already quit their jobs, but that's not an option for me...and honestly, I wouldn't want to even if it was an an option. I enjoy my job, and most of my patients on my list are work contacts. Cutting my hours back would be great, but that's not an option either.
Simplicity is not an option for me right now. That won't come until I start my new career in 2013. So I try to juggle and find all the support I can get. My husband is my biggest fan - he does all he can to help me out. My boys are chipping in more and are such great helpers. I'm so excited about my new Good Morning Girls accountability/Bible study/prayer group. I'm also an obsessive planner, so that helps too. I'm hanging on to God with all I have, trusting Him to give me the strength and wisdom to get through this very un-simplified season of my life. With Him, I know I'll make it!