Not Quite According to Plan...

I've been so excited about Christmas break.  I have so much I want to accomplish over this month-long break - books to read, projects to work on, cleaning and organizing to do.  I was ready to hit the ground running Thursday, my first day with no classes.  It started out okay, although I had a busy end of the week last week.

Then this week happened.  My week so far...

• I cooked for a church dinner.
• I almost destroyed my cake for the church dinner.
• I went to church.
• I got sick.
• I slept in.
• I went to work.
• My washing machine broke.
• I got sicker.
• The dog puked on my pillow.
• I sat in the puke on my pillow.
• My house is a mess.
• My presents aren't wrapped.
• The boys are fighting.
• I yelled at the boys.
• The toilet overflowed.
• ...Merry Christmas - where's my Grinch hat?

Thank goodness for God's grace, even when I'm exhausted and nothing is going according to plan!  One day, hopefully soon, I'll look back on the week before Christmas 2011 and laugh...

Real Women, Real Health, Real God

I am so excited about the new website/forum/ministry my blogging friend Kristi is launching! January 1, 2012 will mark the launch date for Must Love God, where women can find support for total health - physical, emotional, and spiritual. This has been on Kristi's heart for a long time. She has covered this in prayer, and so have many others. I'm so excited and honored to be a contributor for this. Watch for updates and like the Facebook page. I can't wait to see what God is going to do!

Ready to Hide His Word?

Today I'm starting a new challenge with Katie Orr at Do Not Depart...



Scripture memory was, for a long time, been something I knew I should do, but somehow never got around to.  Earlier this year, I took the plunge and decided to start it after reading a great post on A Holy Experience, one of my favorite blogs. 

Memorizing God's Word is life changing.  When you're memorizing scripture, you're truly meditating on it, feeding your soul with it day after day.  I don't know why it took me so long to grasp the importance of it, but now it's a vital part of my quiet time.  I hope you'll join us - you won't regret it!

Altars to Remember

I stole a great quote from Rambling Heather on Twitter recently...we were discussing spiritual journaling, and she described it this way: "It's how I build my altars to remember."

I read a devotional recently on memory stones, like the ones Joshua placed in the Jordan where the  priests carrying the ark stood as Israel crossed over.  That's what spiritual journaling is to me - it's my memory stone.  It's where I can point and say, "This is what God has done."

I want to lay stones not just for me, but for my children, too.  Over and over in the first few chapters of Deuteronomy, God tells Israel not to forget, and not to let their children forget, what He has done.  My kids have to see and hear what God has done in my life, and remember what He has done in their lives.  We have to lay memory stones, altars to remember, for generations to come.

One memory stone for me came on a recent Sunday when a church member asked if she and a couple of other ladies could pray for me - they knew what a toll juggling this summer class and an almost full-time job was taking on me.  As she was praying, she started saying that God is going to use this for something so much bigger than just career advancement, that He is going to answer prayers prayed in the midnight hour. 

I started crying, because I know those prayers...I can get very specific.  Prayers for my sons, that they will have a faith like Daniel, that they will put Jesus first in everything all their lives.  Prayers for me and for ministry, that I will make a difference and leave a legacy for Christ.  Prayers for our family, for dreams that have been in my heart since childhood.  Those midnight prayers have been intense and tear-filled and desperate.  Most of all, they've been heard.  He is listening, and that prayer was confirmation for me.  God is going to do amazing things in this family, and my journal will hold the memory stones for what He has done.

The Strong One

People tell me a lot that I'm a strong woman.  They think that because I'm juggling so much, I'm naturally strong and organized and able to do it all.  They see me going to school, working, helping my husband at our church and raising a family and they think, "Wow, she's confident, she's strong, she's energetic, and she really has it together."

Let me set the record straight right now: they're wrong.  Really, really wrong.  I'm not strong and I'm not confident, and I don't have anything together.  I'm a mess.  I'm weak.  I'm afraid.  I'm a natural born worrier.  I stress out and freak out about little things.  I have no confidence in myself.  And most of the time I'm really, really tired.  I'm not at all what people think I am.

I'm not a strong woman.  I'm just a woman who has faith in a really strong God.  Psalm 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  When I feel like I'm falling apart, I know that my Daddy has me wrapped in His strong arms.  When I'm weak, He gives me all the strength I need to get through the day.  When I don't have the energy to get through another minute, He gives me rest.  He's my life, my breath, my everything.  He's the strong One.

Pressing In

Today I'm feeling the pressure...to be everything to everyone, to balance it all and do it all.  It sounds good, but its an impossible goal, and I know it.  So I do the only thing I can...I pour my heart out to the Savior, to my Savior, asking for His perfect strength, telling Him how scared I am by the load I'm carrying.  This week its all pressing in on me...wife, mom, employee, student.  I can't do it on my own.  I can't even come close.  I need Him every step of the way.  So I pour my heart out to Him, and I feel peace at last, because I know He will give me everything that I need.

When It All Crashes Down

I haven't done a Working with Delight post the past couple of weeks.  I could give you a lot of reasons why, but it really boils down to just one.  I've been feeling completely and totally overwhelmed.  It's hard to write a post that's supposed to help other working moms when you feel like you're drowning yourself.

Everything college is starting to press in on me.  It's time to start buying books and ordering supplies.  I'm seeing hard numbers now on just how much this is going to cost us, and I'm terrified.  I'm finishing financial aid paperwork and praying I get some grants.  I'm trying to balance my work schedule and get my home organized.  I'm couponing and trying to save money wherever I can for school.  I'm scared out of my mind.

This weekend, I had to remind myself to stop and put it all in perspective.  The timing of the new Hello Mornings challenge at Inspired to Action couldn't have been better.  I did the challenge earlier this year, and it was life changing.  I desperately need my morning times with God.  It's where I draw my strength for the day ahead.

My morning time was born out of complete desperation.  My world was crushing in all around me as I faced a possible job loss, my parents extremely troubled marriage, and juggling college with work and family.  I knew that I could not find the strength I needed with a two minute devotional and a quick "Lord, watch over my family," prayer time.  So I found the challenge, along with other great resources, and I threw myself at the feet of God in a desperate plea for strength.

I wear so many hats in a day.  I'm a wife, a mom, a manager of a women's fitness center, a college student, a pastor's wife, a daughter, a friend...but when I come to Jesus every morning, I'm just Amanda.  I don't have to have it all together, I don't have to fill any role, and I don't have to live up to any expectations.  I just have to pour out my soul, my fears, and my failures and throw myself into my Daddy's arms so He can comfort me and give me strength.  When it all comes crashing down, He's there to pick up the pieces and hold me in His arms.  He's never let me go.  Even though I'm terrified of how much I'm taking on, I'm so glad that He's never let me go, and He never will.

The Missing Piece - Hiding His Word

Bible study has been important to me for a very long time.  I enjoy it.  I've found so many wonderful writers and teachers that have helped me grow.  All the while, though, I knew that something was missing.  I wasn't memorizing Scripture.

It wasn't that I didn't want to memorize it.  I just didn't know where to start.  Then I read this post on A Holy Experience, and I jumped in with both feet.  I was so inspired by the story of Ann's grandmother and the legacy she left her family.

The change in my life since I started memorizing Scripture has been amazing.  I find myself thinking about what I'm memorizing, focusing on it, meditating on it.  Finding Do Not Depart helped me tremendously.  I'm finding so many great ideas and techniques to help me memorize God's Word, and the support I've found there is a great motivator!  I'm so glad I started making memorization a part of my daily quiet time.

Building Your Prayer Journal

You probably thought this post would never come, didn't you?  It's taken me longer that I anticipated, but I hope you'll enjoy this!  Let me go ahead and say the pictures did not turn out like I expected.  I will try to post better pics later.

Building a prayer journal is really not as intimidating as it sounds.  At first, I was overwhelmed by all the options, but it's really pretty simple and takes just a little bit of time.  My journal is organized in a way that lets me pray for 30 specific needs in 10 different areas each month.  This lets me pray over 300 specific prayers for the most important areas of my life each month!

First, decide on your format.  I use a simple notebook - a Moleskine would be perfect for this.  I use a simple 5" by 7" notebook.  You'll see other ideas in some of the resources I'll post with this, such as using baseball card pages, but I prefer the small notebook because it's portable.

Next, gather your resources and start planning your journal.  Begin with this great post by Lisa Whelchel, which is the idea that started my prayer journal.  List the areas you would like to pray over daily.  I went with 10 areas, but you can do more or less.  My ten are: my husband, my children, myself, power prayers (taken from Beth Moore's book Praying God's Word), family, church, praise, thanksgiving, ministries/personal influence, and America/world.  Here's what a page of my journal looks like...

Then you can go into more detail, listing 30 specific areas to pray over for each category.  I used the Stormie Omartian books The Power of a Praying Wife, The Power of a Praying Parent, and The Power of a Praying Woman.  I highly, highly recommend these books!  They are amazing.  Kat at Inspired to Action also has great prayer calendars for your husband and kids.  Lisa Whelchel had a great list already set up for several of this areas, and I used it to set up my journal.  Unfortunately, it seems to have been pulled from her site.  I will keep looking, and if I'm able to find it, I will link to it later.

Ready to start?  Pick your categories and start listing specific areas for each.  Watch for more next week!

For Moms Everywhere...

I found this beautiful blog via Twitter...
<a href="http://especiallyheather.com/"><img height="325" width="125" alt="especially heather" src="http://especiallyheather.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/emmaipad.png"></a>

Please pray for this family today.  Even though today was my first time to read it, my heart is breaking for this family.  As moms, let's surround this family with prayers and love as they cope with the unimaginablr.

Prayer Journaling - Part One: How I Came to Prayer Journaling

Prayer can be overwhelming sometimes.  Does it shock you to see a pastor's wife posting that on her blog?  It's true.  I became a Christian as a child, and I was raised in church.  All my life, I heard people referred to as "prayer warriors" or someone who "knows how to touch the heart of God."  I would often think, "Wow, I want to be that kind of person."  I always had good intentions, but somewhere along the way, I would get overwhelmed.  There are so many prayer requests, so many areas I want to cover, but somehow my prayers became a quick, "Bless my family and keep them safe."  Then it just kind of tapered off.

When I read Stormie O'Martian's The Power of a Praying Wife as a newlywed, it changed my prayer life forever.  That was really my first practical introduction to praying Scripture.  I really wanted to pray over all of those areas for my new husband, but again, it was overwhelming, and my plans trailed off.  It wasn't until I read Lisa Whelchel's Taking Care of the Me in Mommy a few years ago and starting looking around her website that it really all came together for me.  It still took a while to pull it all together, but earlier this year I completed my prayer journal.  I finally had just what I was looking for.

For me, my prayer journal has become an essential part of my daily quiet time with God.  It has deepened my walk with God so much!  I'm so excited to start this series and share my journey.  During the next few weeks, I'll share more specifically how prayer journaling has helped me, and I'll show you how I set up my prayer journal.  I'm also planning to do a link-up at least once, because of the best part of praying journaling is that each person's journal is unique.  I've already seen some amazing ones from some of my Twitter friends, and I'd love for others to share their journals!  I hope you'll enjoy sharing this journey with me.

My Joy and My Challenge

They are my greatest joys and my greatest challenges.  They changed my life forever when they entered it.

My youngest, who gave us a major health scare three months in our pregnancy, and another at birth.  My always smiling, always happy, always making people laugh, cuddle-loving son.  Active, athletic, outgoing, laid-back and optimistic, he is his daddy all over again.

My oldest, who is approaching his teen years much too quickly.  My sometimes easy-going son who can become the poster child for strong willed children everywhere in seconds.  My son who picks flowers and makes cards to make his momma smile.  Artistic, emotional, creative, compassionate, perfectionist - undeniably just like me.

I never knew until I had my sons that you really can love so much it hurts.  And I never knew how helpless I would sometimes feel as a mom.  Sometimes, I have no idea what to do with these precious gifts or how to parent them - they're polar opposities, and what works with one fails with the other.  I'm at a total loss.  Some days, all I can do is pray and beg for wisdom and guidance and grace.  That's why I'm taking the 21 Days of Prayer for our Sons challenge, beginning April 1.  Will you join me?  Buy the ebook Warrior Prayers - it will change your prayer life forever - and join the challenge to do something that can change our sons' lives forever.

Perfectly Imperfect: Letting Go Of Expectations

There are a lot of expectations placed on us as moms.  Some of them we put on ourselves, others are piled on by others.  Our families expect us to be the homemaker (even if we work outside the home), chef, chauffer, coach, cheerleader, tutor, teacher and the list goes on.  Our churches expect us to be Sunday school teachers, nursery volunteers, Bible study teachers, choir members, worship leaders, and more.  Our bosses expect us to be 100% at work while we try not to focus on the dozens of other responsibilites running through our minds while we're there.  It can get very overwhelming very fast.

One of the hardest lessons a Christian working mom has to learn is to let go of expectations.  I've had to learn, very slowly, that I can't do it all.  I can't bring homemade goodies to every women's ministries meeting - I can't even attend every meeting.  I won't have time for all the reading I'd like to do, and I won't have homemade dinners every night for my family.  Some nights, we're going to eat hot dogs or fish sticks or drive-thru meals.  I won't get as much sleep or rest as I'd really to.  But I have to go of some of those expectations if I'm ever going to manage to do all that I do.

Part of learning to be satisfied with our role as a working mom is letting go.  We have to let go of the life we thought we would have and grieve what can't be before we can embrace what God has for us here and now.  I spent years wishing I could just go back to being a stay at home mom.  It was only when I accepted the fact that I will always be a working mom and that this is just where God wants me right now, that I started to truly find joy and purpose in what I do. 

Our family's life doesn't look like everyone else's...and that's okay.  Sure, I get frustrated sometimes.  There are still days that I have a hard time leaving the house and days I wish I could go to homeschool co-op or summer reading club with my kids.  But God has called us to something different.  It's overwhelming sometimes, and at times I feel like a total failure, but to Him, we're all perfectly imperfect.  We might not live up to other people's expectations, but we're doing our best to live up to His - and that's all that really matters.

I hope you're enjoying my new blog feature, Working With Delight.  There are so few resources available to Christian working moms, so I decided to start putting together my own.  I would love to hear your ideas, struggles, victories, resources and more!  You can connect with me through comments, email me at amandablogs79(at)yahoo(dot)com, or follow me on Twitter @amandablogs.

Hiding His Word

<a href="http://www.donotdepart.com/p/hiding-his-word.html"><img src="http://i1038.photobucket.com/albums/a463/ckopb/HidingHisWord-2.jpg" /></a>

One of the areas I've never been particularly strong in is Scripture memory.  I learned some basics - John 3:16, the 23rd Psalm - but that's about as far as it got.  The past few months, that's been changing, though.

It all started with a post at A Holy Experience.  More recently, I found Do Not Depart and the Hiding His Word challenge.  So I'm signing up!  I'm working on memorizing Ephesians by the end of the year.  I've already finished chapter one, and I'm working on chapter two.  I have a commitment book where I track what I'm learning, and this week I added index cards to carry in my day planner do I can study at work, too.  I just need to get myself a webcam so I can link up clogs.

I can already see how Scripture memory is changing me.  Its pushing God's word deeper into my heart.  Its on my mind more.  I reflect on it more.  I know its going to keep changing me, and I'm so excited about continuing with it!

Faith Lived Out

I came across the most amazing article a while back on a blog that quickly became one of my favorites, A Holy Experience.  Ann shares the story of finding Scripture memory books that belonged to her grandmother - dog-eared, marked up books, full of Scriptures with dates and notes on when she had learned them.  She shared the wonder she felt when she realized the spiritual impact of those books.  That post made me start thinking about the legacy of faith I'll leave behind one day.

One of my goals for this year - for every year, really - is to be closer to God, to spend more time with Him.  When I asked for His help a few weeks ago, He poured it out, bringing me some amazing resources to inspire me and challenge me, starting with Ann's blog.  I started quickly finding blogs, books, and articles that covered exactly the areas I needed help in.  In short order, I created my own committment book (I'm memorizing Ephesians this year) and signed up for the Hello Mornings Challenge at Inspired to Action.  I finally finished my prayer journal...the one I'd planned to finish a couple of years ago...and actually started using it daily. 

It's been challenging, but growth never comes without a challenge, and God is definitely growing me.  I'm continually finding new ideas and new resources.  Recently I bought the ebook Warrior Prayers - from the first time I opened it, I knew it would become a much-used resource as I pray for my boys.  I had it bound and covered at Office Depot, and now it holds a spot in my Bible study notebook as something to use daily.

I know it's worth it the time and effort.  I want my life to make a difference.  I want to make an impact during my time on earth.  I want to leave a legacy for my kids.  When my life is over, I want to leave my children a worn, marked up Bible; dog-eared books of Scriptures memorized; and a marked up prayer journal that is worn from constant.  I want to leave my children a legacy of faith lived out.   That is my heart's cry.

Thankful for Being Thankful

Okay, I know that sounds crazy, but it's true...when I started reading A Holy Experience, it really challenged me.  One of the areas it challenged me in is gratitude.  I decided to start keeping a gratitude journal - my own book of 1,000 gifts.  I just started it last month, and I'm already amazed at how much that little book is changing me.

When you take time to look for things to be grateful for, you realize just how how much you have.  I'm so amazingly, abundantly blessed.  There are so many little things that I take for granted every day.  Writing it all down makes me stop and think about things I might otherwise overlook.  So, I'm thankful for learning to slow down, enjoy the little things, and be thankful.

Faith and Fitness

A lot of my goals for 2011 involved two major areas - faith and fitness.  These seem to be at the top of a lot of people's lists.  I think it's because most of us struggle with them so much.  They are also two of the most important goals we can have.  I often tell women at the gym I manage, it's not selfish to take time to take care of yourself, because we can't give what we don't have.

I think that what makes these goals seem hard to reach is that neither faith nor fitness just happen - both require us to be intentional.  We have to make time for them and make them a priority.  We have to have discipline to work toward these goals. In a lot of ways, these goals are very similar, and I've found a lot resources recently that combine the two.  Here are a few favorites that I'm incorporating into my daily routines...

PraiseMoves
Years ago, in high school and college, I tried yoga and loved it, but as I started learning more about the background of it, I just wasn't comfortable with it anymore.  Then I found PraiseMoves.  PraiseMoves is a Christian alternative to yoga.  The creator tells about her yoga background and how she came to start this new workout on her website.  She has several DVD's available.  You get a great, relaxing workout, while praying, meditating on God's Word, and memorizing scriptures.  You won't be disappointed!

Fit Bands
I just won a Fit Band (thanks Julia!) and I can't wait to get it!  I thought this was such an awesome idea.  Fit Bands are wristlets you can wear during your workout - you can attach Fit Cards to them so you can pray, memorize scriptures, and have devotional time while you work out.  It will be perfect for those time-crunched mornings that I know I'll have when I (hopefully) start dental hygiene school this summer.

Audio books/podcasts are perfect to listen to as you work out.  I have a playlist of some of my favorite Christian songs (Third Day, Superchick, dcTalk, etc.) that I sometimes listen to as I work out, but I never thought about the podcasts.  I plan to download some from my favorite teachers and listen to some as I run.

I'm really excited about the goals I've set for myself in the areas of faith and fitness.  I've even more excited as I see how I can work towards both at the same time and as I see the progress I'm making.  My husband is joining me in some of my fitness goals, so I'm excited to have him on board as an accountability partner in this.

Book Review: Same Kind of Different as Me

This is, hands down, one of the best books I have ever read.  Same Kind of Different as Me is a must read! 

This amazing true story tells how God brought two very different people in the most unlikely way, how their relationship evolved to the deepest of friendships, and the woman who brought them together changed both their lives forever.  It's also the story of how God can bring us through the most painful circumstances with His limitless love.  I shed a lot of tears as I read this book, but by the end, I was in awe of how powerful love and friendship really are.

For everyone who grew up in the comfortable, middle-class lifestyle that many of us knew as children, this book will also open your eyes.  As one of the co-authors, Denver Moore, tells his story of poverty and homelessness, you will see a side of American life that you may not have known even existed.  It gave me a totally different perspective on poverty and homelessness.  I would highly recommend this book to anyone!

*In exchange for my review, I received a free copy of this book from BookSneeze.  All opinions expressed are solely my own.

Awesome Giveaway - Fit Bands

I have to share the awesome giveaway I discovered over at Work, Wife, Mom, Life! 

Julia is sharing a ministry from a fellow blogger that combines two of my favorite things - fitness and faith.  Fit Bands provide a way for you to memorize or reflect on Scripture while you're working out, running errands, or taking care of your kids during the day. 

I'm really excited about this idea, especially since I'm doing the Hello Mornings challenge.  Me and all of my #hellomornings Twitter friends are working on our goals of spending time in Bible study and exercise each morning - what a perfect tool for both goals!

To enter and to learn more about Fit Bands, go to Julia's blog and check it out. 

Making a Habit is Hard

I'm struggling with forming my new habits.  I blogged a few days ago about my goals for the year and about making new habits.  Making a new habit is not an easy task.  I've set aside daily time to work toward my goals.  I've printed off a 100 days calendar from A Holy Experience to help me.  I know what I want to do...but it doesn't make it easy. 

I think the hardest part of making a new habit is breaking the old habit.  It takes discipline to wake up in the morning and focus on my Bible reading and Scripture memory.  There are days when, honestly, I want to curl up on the couch and watch TV while I drink my coffee, or when my to-do list is demanding my attention right away.  I don't always have my quiet time first thing...some days I have it later in the day...or not at all.

But, as I wrote last week, it takes persistence...so I'm persisting.  If I miss a day, I forge ahead the next day.  I'm keeping my Scripture memory book in my DayPlanner - which goes everywhere with me - so I can pull it out whenever I have free time to review and study.  Starting today, I'm marking my 100 days calendar.  I can do this.  I will do this because the new habits will be well worth it.